Pros and Cons of the Single Life

PROS.

1. You can do the dishes whenever you want, not when your spouse wants you to. This also goes for taking out the trash, doing the laundry, and changing lightbulbs.
2. No more fighting over the remote control. You watch what you want on TV when you want to. This also goes for internet time, bathroom reading, radio stations, CD selection and video rentals.
3. The fact that you get to drive everywhere and not be bothered by your spouse's apparent ineptitude behind the wheel.
4. I am always on time.
5. Sleep is more natural without icy feet touching you somehow. And I can choose the side of the bed I desire to sleep on, and sleep there
6. You no longer have to go to the store 100 times a day. You can actually make your list and THEN go. And not have to go back 99 more times. If you remember that you need something else that you forgot, you can go tomorrow, without guilt.
7. You can get up an hour before work, shower, eat breakfast, drink coffee and drive to work without talking to anybody, the natural way any human male was meant to get up in the morning.
8. You can come home from work, take off your shoes, eat your dinner, and read the newspaper without having to answer 100 questions about what you are going to do for the evening, the weekend, the month, and without having to listen to anyone else tell you the answers to those questions (because you dont really have a choice anyway).
9. If you are annoyed with certain members of the opposite sex, you dont have to call them. you can stop seeing them. You can opt out. You can find someone else. You have that option. Everything is optional.

CONS

1. You actually have to do the dishes, clean your house, change your TP and do your laundry. YOURSELF.
2. Most of the time, your only company is the television you are controlling, or the book you are reading.
3. You can't drive too far for fear of falling asleep at the wheel.
4. Being on time isn't all that it's cracked up to be.
5. Instead of parts of my leg being cold from feet, now the whole bed is cold.
6. You have to remember to buy things that you need. The things you used to buy for gratification don't actually nourish you. Now you have to remember nutrition classes from middle school to remember what you need to buy at the grocery store.
7. There is something to be said for an annoying nagging voice in the morning to get you out of bed.
8. Making your own decisions isn't all it's cracked up to be.
9. Everything is optional. Nothing is definite.