Dusting off the Blogshelves

Hey, I know it's been a while, but here I am. I found something to write about. I left off with a vague and bleak look at reality. My intent for the blog was to be completly honest whenever I wrote in it; to hold nothing back no matter how real it was in the moment I was writing it. I'm glad God can handle it. I appreciate most of the responses (except the spams). You will never get a church answer in this blog. "My life is great" (fake smile and out the door). I am just trying to encapsulate the reality of what's going on in my life.

With that in mind, I came across a few different thoughts recently that made me think. Maybe they will make you think. I think so.

First up. I just read a book by Robb Bell. Velvet Elvis. Ironically, the book had nothing to do with Elvis or the fine Mexican art of painting on black velvet canvasses.

It was about God, Bible, Jesus.

It was inspiring. I liked it because it wasnt canned. It was raw. It was exciting because it was controversial AND true.

The format catered to the Attention Deficient Gen Xers and unders. (it was easy and thoughts were broken up conversationally).

I just kept saying "yes, that's true" over and over.

It made me get up. Stretch a little. Think hard. It made me proud to be honest and say things like "innocence is the lie that...." you know the rest.

Part of the reason I wrote that was because it was such a quotable line. It didnt really get the reaction I was looking for. I'm still certain that lost innocence is enlightening. Wasn't knowledge of good and evil knowledge?

Innocence is rarely lost. It's usually given freely. There are horrifying circumstances where it is taken, for sure. That is the exception. I am becoming more keenly aware of the difference between innocence and ignorance. If you pretend not to know something it doesnt mean you are innocent. If you wonder if... well you know.

Innocence cannat be atttained if you have sinned. Its a weird duality. The ultimate reality is innocence, of course. It has to be. For that is how I am in Christ. However, I would be a fool to think that I have become innocent in my flesh and mind. I still need healing. Only a fool would think otherwise.

But, I have to admit, exploring my darkness really opened my eeyes to my own deeper darknesses. I'm a lot more forgiving, a lot less judgmental, and a thousand times more gracious and thankful for my salvation than I have ever been. Who knows? Maybe He's softening me up for something.

My divorce is final. I've been attending a megachurch for some time. A megachurch is a great place to be, especially if you need to be alone. And I needed to be alone.

But that time is over. I'm not tired anymore. I am called still (unfortunately for the church) to do something more eternally eventful with my life. My period in the desert is over. It's time for me to get off the bench and get back in the game (in whatever role the coach PLACES me).

So, peace out. I'll be back later.